The Wife Life
I became a wife at 22 years old...why? 😳
Honestly, the better question is: how?
I believe the Wife Life chose me.
Before I became a wife I was super honed in on my career and I was a “girl-boss.” I accomplished all of the milestones that many in their 20’s dream of: finally finishing college and earning a degree, being set in a career, getting a dream job, having countless work opportunities, being social, feeling pretty, having a good boyfriend. It was great.
But then like many, I started to learn that the feeling of accomplishment eventually fizzles out. I started to understand it as I was hitting goal-after-goal and pushing myself to the edge. I had the work, the volunteer opportunities, the family to spend time with, a persona to uphold, I tried vlogging on YouTube, I even started selling Life Insurance— just thinking about how much I took on makes me feel sick….because I actually did get sick.
I became sooooooooooo burnt-out. I had to summon a functional-medicine doctor to help me get through this and heal.
Accomplishing more did not matter…and everything I had already achieved was in vain anyway.
As I continued to feel every pain of the burnout, I shed every layer of who I was. No more being a real estate agent trying to sell houses, no more jumping into different niches, no more networking, no more girl-boss.
Earlier, I mentioned I had a boyfriend. This guy was the one thing that helped me keep it together.
When I let go of all that I knew, I felt like I jumped off a cliff. And the cool thing is I magically and kinda softly landed in this guy’s arms! Just like that, kinda like a little feather. Little to no pain when this happened. Man…my heart glows just thinking about it. Mark. Mark Mark Mark. My Love. He helped me curate a space that felt so safe.
We were actually already living together at this time. I was 21 and he was 24. If anyone knows anything about Mark, he is extremely ambitious. So this means at this point in our lives he felt the confidence to take on the responsibility of providing for us. I no longer had to work a job, I didn’t have to hustle or network to make money. I didn’t have to worry about paying off my credit cards! He took care of it. He was the cup that held me.
I feel so calm as I reflect on this. Mark invited me into flow and relaxation. Create art. Watch the heart-felt movie. Go on nature walks. He also noticed my cooking talents and encouraged it. Since I was healing internally, cooking and eating the right foods was a big deal for me. I leaned into that. With cooking meals also came cleaning. My routine started to include washing dishes and sweeping the house. It was very therapeutic at times. It was a win-win situation. I felt like I was cleaning out old energy and polishing the parts of me that needed it. I leaned into even more of that energy flowing throughout our spaces- dusting the shelves, folding the laundry, wiping the mirrors, and even cleaning out the garage.
Now, this is not Trad Wife propaganda! I write about these things because these were the elements that dropped me into the feminine- the flow, the ease, the nurture, the polish. And the masculine was definitely out of the picture for me- the intensity, the hustle, the competition, the pressure. That was actually killing me. And I really thank God because that girl-boss version of me needed to die anyway. It was over for her.
I do believe in life after death.
So voila:
My life as a Wife was birthed.
I never intended for it to be this way. I never ever wrote in my journals that this was my dream life. I also never really had anything against it though. I didn’t consciously choose it. I just never paid much attention to the possibility of it. But it ended up happening!….
The Wife Life chose me.
Fast forward 2 years later and we have our dynamic as Husband and Wife on-lock 😏.
More on that later.
And so I look forward to sharing more about what has been created upon the birth of the Wife Life for me.
This is just the beginning and I thank you for your presence on this human journey. Till the next story.
Love, Jessa 🤍
